Many children survive traumatic events without permanent emotional or psychological damage. A child’s ability to handle stress is greatly affected by their personality and family support. Changes in behavior or attitude are a sign of stress overload in children. If behaviors occur often or over a long time period, it can be a sign the child is overwhelmed and needs more help. The following steps are designed to assist you in helping your child cope with stress and upset. Click on each step for detailed information.
Recognize Signs of Stress and Upset
Children show stress in different ways, including:
- Irritability, temper tantrums, or crying
- Return to younger behaviors: bedwetting, thumb sucking, clinging to a blanket or stuffed animal, changes in speech
- Withdrawal/Isolation: refusing visitors, not talking or interacting with people, hiding under covers, etc.
- Changes in sleep: nightmares, trouble sleeping, sleeping a lot, etc.
- Clinging, demanding attention, or making unreasonable requests
Older children may show stress by:
- Prolonged irritability or negative mood
- Changes in school performance
- Frequent outbursts of anger
- Inability to cope with problems and daily activities
- Changes in sleeping or eating habits
- Social withdrawal from family, friends, or activities
- Defiance of authority, truancy, theft, or vandalism
- Smoking or substance abuse
Provide Support
- Express confidence in your child’s ability to deal with stress.
- Remind your child that they are not alone and that family and friends are there to help.
- Encourage your child to get support from friends.
- Provide physical contact (back rubs, holding, cuddling, hugs, and kisses) to comfort and ease upset.
- Maintain contact with people important to your child (grandparents, siblings, friends, etc.) through visits, telephone calls, or online communication.
- Ask your child how you can help them.
Learn and Use Strategies to Reduce Upset
- Identify and use what has previously helped in the past to soothe and reassure your child.
- Encourage your child to use words to describe what they are thinking and feeling by asking simple questions:
- Are you mad?
- Did that hurt a lot or a little bit?
- Are you scared?
- Did that surprise you?
- Remind your child how they successfully handled stressful events in the past.
- Provide structure through routine: meal times, nap time, bedtime, school work, play time, bathing, etc.
- Maintain important rituals such as: bedtime story, going to sleep with music, tucking in for the night, etc.
- Talk about positive past events and engage your child in planning future events.
- Ask hospital staff for suggestions on how to help your child deal with upset.
- Get professional help for yourself or your child when problems seem beyond your skills or comfort level.
Teach Your Child Coping Skills
- Teach your child simple coping strategies: calming self-talk, deep breaths, distraction, counting to 10.
- Talk about what is happening; have your child explain what it means to them.
- Demonstrate and reinforce how to express thoughts and feelings in a constructive way.
- Encourage problem solving.
- Remind and encourage your child to laugh.
Depending on the age of your child, there are special considerations to keep in mind when helping your child to manage stress and upset. Click on your child’s age range below for some additional tips. Since every child is different, you may find it helpful to review the advice for other age ranges as well.
Children 2-6 Years Old
- Provide favorite toys, blanket, or stuffed animals.
- Bring familiar items to the hospital.
- Utilize diversions such as music, cartoons, stories, pets, games, and toys.
- Remember that holding and cuddling is especially important in young children.
Children 7-11 Years Old
- Utilize diversions such as videos, music, stories, computer games, hobbies, etc.
- Encourage and assist them keeping in contact with friends.
- Consider discussing upset with their educators or school counselor.
Teens 12-17 Years Old
- Utilize diversions such as videos, music, books, computer games, cell phone, social networking websites, hobbies, etc.
- Assist them to keep in contact with friends.
- Connect them with burn survivor support groups so they can ask others how they have dealt with feelings of upset.
- Consider professional counseling.
Young Adults 18 Years and Older
- Have your young adult identify activities and interests they enjoy. Help them participate in these.
- Encourage your young adult to contact burn survivor support groups so they can ask others how they have dealt with feelings of upset.
- Consider professional counseling.
