Prepare Yourself: You probably have strong feelings about your child going out in public or into new situations after their injury. Identify what worries you have, and what you might do to address these concerns. Review the Resources section of this website for suggestions on dealing with this issue. You may want to seek help from your friends, family, or health care team.

Prepare Your Child: Discuss with your child their thoughts and feelings about going out in public. Identify any concerns or questions your child might have. Offer support, reassurance, and suggestions on things to do or say. Your child will learn how to deal with the reactions of others based on what you say and do. Set a good example by using positive words and behaviors, such as:

• Greet others with confidence
• Speak in a friendly and assertive manner
• Include your child in conversations when appropriate. Encourage them to lead conversations as they get older.
• Focus on positive interactions and responses
• Praise your child when they positively respond to new situations

Before going out in public for the first time, encourage your child to anticipate questions and develop simple responses to them. Help them to have a brief explanation ready for typical questions that might be asked. These explanations should provide reassurance to others that you and your child are okay. Prepare and use “small talk” to distract and redirect the conversation away from topics that make your child uncomfortable. Potential situations:

• What places would you like to visit when you get home? Who should go with you?
• I bet your friends will wonder what has happened to you. What shall we tell them?
• Your teacher knows you were burned. She will be interested to know that you have a skin graft on your hand.
• Would you like to visit school to meet with your teacher before going back to classes?
• What kind of questions do you think people might ask you about your injury and hospital stay?
• What kind of reaction do you think you will get from other children or strangers?
• Children are curious when they see something different. Sometimes they stare. We will let them know that you were burned, but it is okay for you to play with them.
• Adults sometimes ask a lot of questions. It is okay for you to say “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

Have your child practice responses they might make in a variety of situations. Trips to the cafeteria and public areas at the hospital can be great places to start practicing. Try out responses with hospital staff or visiting friends. Take your child to familiar public places to practice. Plan your first outing by identifying familiar or favorite places your child wants to visit (store, park, etc.). It may be helpful to bring along family and friends for support.

After a public outing or encounter, talk with your child about how it went:

• I liked how you responded…
• That seemed to go well when you…
• I thought that lady looked sad when she looked at your hand…
• I liked how you focused on what you can do….
• Was that difficult when…
• You seemed uncomfortable when…
• Did that upset you …
• Did you mind that I said…
• Is there something you would like to do or say differently next time?
• Is there something you would like me to do or say differently next time?

You can best help your child by being calm, relaxed, and reassuring. Remember, take time to do fun things, relax, and enjoy being with your family and friends. If things get too stressful, try practicing positive self-talk:

• I will be okay
• Our family has dealt with hard things before and we will get through this too

• Put dressings, pressure garments, or splints on a doll or stuffed animal and use it to act out situations that your child might encounter.
• Read a children’s story about a child who is reluctant to go out in public, and talk about it with your child.
• Use the coloring book “Getting Burned, Getting Better, Going Home” to talk with your child.

• Identify groups that your child feels more comfortable visiting to practice responses (play group, scouts, youth or church group, school clubs, sports team, etc.).
• Look for scenes in TV shows or movies to discuss a character that was shy or afraid to go out in public. Talk about how the character handled it, and what could have been done differently.

• Encourage your child to keep in touch with friends while out of school so they will have support during future public outings.
• Ask your child to name a student who they think is shy or uncomfortable in groups. Ask your child what advice they would give to that student to help them overcome their fear.
• Identify groups that your child feels more comfortable visiting to practice responses (group of friends going shopping, school clubs, sports team, youth group, etc.).
• Request a visit from a SOAR Volunteer and talk with the volunteer about specific concerns or questions that your child has.

• Invite family or friends to visit and accompany them into public places of the hospital. Include these same individuals for visits in the home, community, school, or work environment.
• If your young adult works outside of the home, practice what types of scenarios they might encounter with others.
• Encourage a visit with a SOAR volunteer.